Today

Today was a roller coaster of a day. More on that tomorrow.

But most importantly, my best friend had a son today. And that trumps whatever silly neuroses are going on with me, by A LOT. I'm so filled with joy and pride on her behalf. I have another newphew(ish type person)! Woohoo! Welcome to the world, Tiny S! And congrats to Roasted Beat and S!

Sigh...

You know what's got my goat this morning? (Oh hi, by the way. I know I've been MIA through the holidays. Hope yours were great. Ours were chaotic and fraught with Internet issues, which is why I haven't been around.) Anyway...what's got my goat is the fact that the majority of people on Facebook who feel compelled to launch into angry political rants in their status updates are a) misinformed and b) possessed of exceptionally weak grammar skills. Ever notice that? I'm sure you have. But if you haven't, I apologize in advance, because now it's going to drive you up a wall.

Look, we all have political ideologies that we (for the most part) feel strongly about. Inevitably, some of these ideologies are conflicting. Even within the same FB friend circle, you're going to get wildly varying beliefs. And we all have a right to them, and a right to express them. I have no issue with that, even though sometimes, the things people say regarding those beliefs can annoy me, offend me and even make me question whether that person is someone I even want on my friend list. I have yet to un-friend anyone for expressing an opinion (although I have BEEN unfriended for voicing my opinion on gay marriage. Which is that I think it should be legal. So. Yea.)

I thought about giving some examples of this here, and had even drafted a version of the post wherein I did so. But the thing is, my goal in this post is not to call out any individual or to embarrass anyone. It's to, maybe, hopefully, call your attention to your reactionary ranting and the fact that, in the face of your emotion, you're...missing the point entirely, a lot of the time.

But it does annoy the crap out of me when people take a political stance in a very public forum and are...misinformed and in some cases, downright INCORRECT. Might I suggest that if you're going to get your panties in such a wad that you simply MUST voice your disapproval publicly, that you at least make sure you have your facts straight? Pretty please? And I'm not just talking to the folks I disagree with (who do tend to be the most egregious offenders here, recently). Even if I agree with you, I don't want you putting inaccurate stuff up, since that makes people with my political leanings seem ignorant and uninformed. See?

And finally, regardless of what you're posting about, can we all please agree that grammar on FB is appalling and frankly frightening to someone who used to teach it? I KNOW you all had English teachers who taught you the differences between contractions and possessive pronouns. If you can't remember that lesson, LOOK IT UP AND APPLY IT. You look like an idiot when you disregard rules you learned in elementary school and so help me, if you learned grammar from me and abuse it on FB, you will be corrected. There, I said it.

Rough Patch

My three year old and I are going through a rough patch. It's not the first time. Occasionally, he's gone through what I call the "I hate Mommy" phase. This particular one is really bad. Yesterday, while running errands, he got angry with me because we were picking up Daddy's Christmas gift (and none for B) and he told me he loves Daddy more. When I asked why, he said it was because I'm a bad Mommy. For the record, I'm not.

Luckily, we were going to see Santa today, and I was able to use that as leverage, telling him that Santa loves me very much (as most of y'all know, Santa is my Dad), and that if I were to tell Santa he'd said that, it would not go well for him. I also asked him how he would feel if I told him I loved Daddy more than I loved him. He admitted this would make him very sad, and I told him it makes me very sad when he says it, too. Both of these points seemed to hit home pretty well. He was very apologetic and insisted that he does, in fact, love me very much. (Which, of course he does. He is an only child with a stay at home mom...I'm pretty much his world, a lot of the time.)

But it doesn't change the overall pattern, which is that he's in kind of a nasty phase with me, and as much as I realize one shouldn't take such things personally coming from a three year old, it's really hurtful...in addition to just being unacceptable behavior which, from a Mom's perspective, is never ok anyway.

So, sigh. I just hope it's over soon.

Speaking of Uncanny Memories...

I had a doctor's appointment yesterday, and of course my constant companion was with me. When we pulled into the parking lot, he said, "No crying, Mommy." And I told him, "No, I won't cry." He followed up with, "You cried last time, when Daddy was here." (He was referring to the day of the ultra-sound that revealed the miscarriage.) And I said, "Yes, I did." He said, "That scared me." And I said, "I know it did, and I'm so sorry." He said, "That's ok. You were sad. But! No crying today!" So I agreed I wouldn't cry. Which I didn't.

He is so much like me, this way. He takes in and remembers everything. Which, of course, is a huge part of the reason I am so racked with guilt, still, that he was there for that. Of course we couldn't have known. But I should have. I should have been more insistent, but I was so scared and tired I wasn't thinking straight. So, I guess the best I can say is...lesson learned.

December 8, 1980

I remember that day. I have kind of an uncanny memory - I remember things from when I was quite young, which people always seem surprised to hear, but which is true. On December 8, 1980, I was four. I remember the news, the people gathered in Central Park, crying. I remember my mom being really sad, too. I remember asking her, "Why are those people crying?" And I remember her responding sadly, "Because they loved him," And then I remember asking, "Why?" And her responding, still sadly, "Because he was very special." And that always stuck with me. My brother lived in the building next to the Dakota for a couple of years, and I never visited him without thinking of it. I never passed Strawberry Fields without remembering the crying people gathered there.

I could go on a rant about how celebrities now are devoid of substance as compared with John Lennon. But I choose to believe that's not true. Sure, there are vapid idiots out there, and sure we're all idiots too for obsessing about them. But before John Lennon emerged from Liverpool, who could ever have guessed the impact he would have? Therefore, isn't it possible that the next great artistic genius is just around the corner? I like to think it is. I like to hope so.

You Are My Sunshine

My son just started singing this one day. I used to sing it to him when he was a baby, particularly when we were going his nebulizer treatments. But I wouldn't have expected him to remember the lyrics. As far as I know, he didn't sing it at daycare. I'm really, genuinely not sure how he learned it well enough to sing on his own, but he did. That's all I'm sayin'.

Goodnight, Buck. I love you and I miss you every day, even 11 years later.

Year By Year

Every year, I feel luckier and luckier to have my husband. The past four years have been by far the best and fastest of my life. With each passing year, my husband continues to amaze me with his generosity, his kindness and his unfailing love and support. He is an amazing father. He is probably the best person I know.

I am so grateful to have him in my life, and for the four years of marriage we have under our belts, as well as the years we have ahead.