Thursday, April 23, 2009
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Summer Is X-tremely Fun
The older I get, the more I realize how much I really love summer. Granted, I prefer to live in a house with central air, because I'm pretty sensitive to temperature, and because heat exascerbates insomnia. But I tend to be a happier person in the summer months. When I look back at my favorite memories, aside from the many, many Christmas-related ones, the majority involve being outside, in the sunshine, usually in the summer.
Five years ago, heading into summer, my gaggle of girlfriends in Boston all decided we should embark on "The Summer of X-treme Fun" or "SOX Fun" for short (a play on words, since we're all obviously huge Red Sox fans). And at the time I was living that summer, I think I did consciously realize that it was a very fun summer, but because I was enduring the end of a bad relationship, its final demise and the immediate aftermath of that, I don't know that I fully appreciated it the way I can now, with the distance of years and the insulation of a good relationship (no better way to really highlight the bad than to compare it to the good that came after).
That summer began with a trip to Nantucket for my friend's 30th birthday. We went Memorial Day weekend, or FIGAWI weekend, as it's known. For the unititated, Figawi is an annual regatta on Nantucket, known for its chaotic nature (The name originated from the saying, "Where the figawi?"). On the way to the island, my then roommate and I flew on a 9 passenger plane with Tom Brady and his then girlfriend, Bridget Moynahan. This was 2004, so Tom was obviously at the absolute pinnacle of his cache. So...pretty cool way to kick off a summer of x-treme fun.
And we continued to have an absolute blast all summer long. We drank wine on my friend's "roof deck" (In Beacon Hill, pretty much any roof you can access is referred to as a "roof deck."). We searched out cute boys (for several of us, it was our last summer as single girls before getting together with the men we'd eventually marry). We walked the esplanade and occasionally enjoyed free concerts at the Hatch Shell.
Additionally, that summer, I had one of the most fun vacations I've ever had. Two of my friends got married up in Bar Harbor, Maine, and a group of us spent the week prior to the wedding up there. We hiked (and I conquered a fear of heights by doing a hike I'm told is notoriously terrifying to heights fearers), we swam in a resevoir (conquering another fear of mine, of dark water), we played bocce at one of the coolest outdoor bars I've ever been to, and we just generally enjoyed time with our friends.
That summer also marked my first trip out to the Hamptons. My sister in law threw a surprise 35th birthday party for my brother. We all went down and had our first (of many) beach clambake. It was a truly phenomenal weekend of perfect weather and family partying.
I've always loved summer, but I really think that, as far as my adult life goes, that summer was the one that put it over the top. Since then, I get more excited as summer approaches. Now I know the endless possibilities. It's not that I want to go back to that time in my life. You couldn't pay me enough to do that. But I remember with such fondness the various adventures and shenanigans, and I appreciate the things I learned about myself that summer - both inwardly and outwardly.
Five years ago, heading into summer, my gaggle of girlfriends in Boston all decided we should embark on "The Summer of X-treme Fun" or "SOX Fun" for short (a play on words, since we're all obviously huge Red Sox fans). And at the time I was living that summer, I think I did consciously realize that it was a very fun summer, but because I was enduring the end of a bad relationship, its final demise and the immediate aftermath of that, I don't know that I fully appreciated it the way I can now, with the distance of years and the insulation of a good relationship (no better way to really highlight the bad than to compare it to the good that came after).
That summer began with a trip to Nantucket for my friend's 30th birthday. We went Memorial Day weekend, or FIGAWI weekend, as it's known. For the unititated, Figawi is an annual regatta on Nantucket, known for its chaotic nature (The name originated from the saying, "Where the figawi?"). On the way to the island, my then roommate and I flew on a 9 passenger plane with Tom Brady and his then girlfriend, Bridget Moynahan. This was 2004, so Tom was obviously at the absolute pinnacle of his cache. So...pretty cool way to kick off a summer of x-treme fun.
And we continued to have an absolute blast all summer long. We drank wine on my friend's "roof deck" (In Beacon Hill, pretty much any roof you can access is referred to as a "roof deck."). We searched out cute boys (for several of us, it was our last summer as single girls before getting together with the men we'd eventually marry). We walked the esplanade and occasionally enjoyed free concerts at the Hatch Shell.
Additionally, that summer, I had one of the most fun vacations I've ever had. Two of my friends got married up in Bar Harbor, Maine, and a group of us spent the week prior to the wedding up there. We hiked (and I conquered a fear of heights by doing a hike I'm told is notoriously terrifying to heights fearers), we swam in a resevoir (conquering another fear of mine, of dark water), we played bocce at one of the coolest outdoor bars I've ever been to, and we just generally enjoyed time with our friends.
That summer also marked my first trip out to the Hamptons. My sister in law threw a surprise 35th birthday party for my brother. We all went down and had our first (of many) beach clambake. It was a truly phenomenal weekend of perfect weather and family partying.
I've always loved summer, but I really think that, as far as my adult life goes, that summer was the one that put it over the top. Since then, I get more excited as summer approaches. Now I know the endless possibilities. It's not that I want to go back to that time in my life. You couldn't pay me enough to do that. But I remember with such fondness the various adventures and shenanigans, and I appreciate the things I learned about myself that summer - both inwardly and outwardly.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Progress
There's always a learning curve when you start a new job. But for some reason, the job I'm in right now, that learning curve has been...well, it's taken a LOT longer than any other job I've ever had. But lately, I've finally felt like I'm making some breakthroughs. I finally feel assured of myself, in a way I haven't before. I think part of the reason for this is that I was, frankly, kind of traumatized by my last job. I was so beaten down by the end of my time in that job that I had really lost all the confidence I'd gained in my years with the company. And it's taken this long to get that back. Add to that the fact that I started this job when I was pregnant (not, generally, the most productive time, career-wise) and then I missed a chunk of time for maternity leave, and it just took a long time to hit a stride. This week, we're dealing with a lot of stuff that's pretty stressful. It's the first time I've been in this situation that I haven't been in a perpetual state of panic. I'm starting to trust myself, my intelligence, my judgment. Thank God. I don't think I could have lived that way much longer.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Autism Awareness Day
Today is the second annual World Autism Awareness Day. As such, I want to do my part to help increase awareness. Read about autism. Learn about autism. And let's find a way to eliminate autism.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Moving On
Our condo is finally officially on the market. It took a long time, and a lot of hard work, but it's listed. I feel really optimistic that it will sell quickly and for a pretty good price (all things considered). I think the condo has become, to us, symbolic of something holding us back from the life we want...since the life we want is here in MA and the condo is in NH. So, just having it on the market is a big symbolic step, in addition to being a big literal step. At the very least, it'll be a huge relief not to have to go up there every weekend to work on it. Our part is done. It's staged and vacated - now, the realtor can show the heck out of it until it sells. Yippee!
Monday, March 16, 2009
Introspection
I've been doing a lot of soul searching lately. I've been thinking a lot about the important things in life and how to live it in a satisfying and meaningful way. I've been thinking about "living your bliss" as it were. So, what's my bliss?
As I said in my last post, a huge part of my bliss is B. When I think of him smiling or giggling, or snuggling up to me and playing with my hair, or talking, or walking, or a million other little things he does, the feeling that comes over me is a truly pure joy. When he's sitting on my lap, enjoying his before bed bottle, sometimes he'll reach his little hand up to touch the hair on the back of my head. He'll stroke it very gently (which is big - "gentle" is not the word I would generally use to describe B's approach to...anything), and look up at me contentedly. In those moments, life is as good as it gets.
As I've said many other times, a big part of my bliss is writing. I genuinely enjoy the process of choosing words and turns of phrase, of creating characters and writing dialogue for them. I know I've created a good character when that character sticks with me beyond the writing process. If I find myself spacing out in the middle of a work day, imagining what might happen next to a character, I know I'm onto something. And the same goes for enjoying other people's writing. When I find a book or an author I enjoy, there is such joy in that, it can permeate my entire life.
Another part of my bliss is talking to my friends and family, giving advice where I can, getting it where I can. I'm a social creature. That might sound odd, because I'm kind of shy, but it's true. I crave social interaction. Whether it's with family or friends, there is little in life I enjoy more than a good conversation. It can be about any topic - relationships, politics, whatever. And on the occasions that I find some nugget of...usefulness...to pass along, I feel like I'm contributing to the world in my small way.
Yet another part of my bliss is simple times in the sunshine with my boys. The simple act of taking a walk with them, or going to a playground, or just sitting in the back yard - any of these things - offers me more enjoyment than I could have imagined not so long ago. Watching B explore the outdoors with his dad following behind him, puts an immediate and lasting smile on my face.
So, the one area of my life that isn't really included in this list is my profession. I mean, obviously writing is the profession I seek in the long term, but right now, I'm not yet making a living at it. So, I want to at least find a profession that offers me, if not actual joy, at least some sort of satisfaction. I want to finish a work day and feel good about what I've done that day. It's been a really long time since I've felt that, and I really want to find my way back to it.
As I said in my last post, a huge part of my bliss is B. When I think of him smiling or giggling, or snuggling up to me and playing with my hair, or talking, or walking, or a million other little things he does, the feeling that comes over me is a truly pure joy. When he's sitting on my lap, enjoying his before bed bottle, sometimes he'll reach his little hand up to touch the hair on the back of my head. He'll stroke it very gently (which is big - "gentle" is not the word I would generally use to describe B's approach to...anything), and look up at me contentedly. In those moments, life is as good as it gets.
As I've said many other times, a big part of my bliss is writing. I genuinely enjoy the process of choosing words and turns of phrase, of creating characters and writing dialogue for them. I know I've created a good character when that character sticks with me beyond the writing process. If I find myself spacing out in the middle of a work day, imagining what might happen next to a character, I know I'm onto something. And the same goes for enjoying other people's writing. When I find a book or an author I enjoy, there is such joy in that, it can permeate my entire life.
Another part of my bliss is talking to my friends and family, giving advice where I can, getting it where I can. I'm a social creature. That might sound odd, because I'm kind of shy, but it's true. I crave social interaction. Whether it's with family or friends, there is little in life I enjoy more than a good conversation. It can be about any topic - relationships, politics, whatever. And on the occasions that I find some nugget of...usefulness...to pass along, I feel like I'm contributing to the world in my small way.
Yet another part of my bliss is simple times in the sunshine with my boys. The simple act of taking a walk with them, or going to a playground, or just sitting in the back yard - any of these things - offers me more enjoyment than I could have imagined not so long ago. Watching B explore the outdoors with his dad following behind him, puts an immediate and lasting smile on my face.
So, the one area of my life that isn't really included in this list is my profession. I mean, obviously writing is the profession I seek in the long term, but right now, I'm not yet making a living at it. So, I want to at least find a profession that offers me, if not actual joy, at least some sort of satisfaction. I want to finish a work day and feel good about what I've done that day. It's been a really long time since I've felt that, and I really want to find my way back to it.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Happiness Is a Blonde Toddler
It's kind of tricky when you decide to undertake an overhaul of your entire way of thinking to make it more positive, and just days in, someone you care about passes away too soon. But I'm trying to keep on the positive train, largely because I feel like it's about all I can do that might be in some way helpful, you know?
So, at the risk of sounding like one of those flakes on a TV show, spouting off about The Secret, I'm going to...spout off about The Secret. Here's the thing. Living your life from a positive place does, in fact, feel better. And at least I can send positive thoughts to a family in pain and hope it offers some measure of comfort.
One tenet of The Secret's positive thought is visualizing happy images to make yourself feel more positive. My happy image is, of course, B. I visualize the way he looks when he sleeps, or when he giggles, or when he's snoozing on my shoulder - his blonde curls, his smile, his big, grey eyes. And it really is amazing how quickly thinking of him can improve my mood. I have a picture as my desktop background that can turn my mood around in a heartbeat. I'll show you:
Admit it. You feel slightly happier now, don't you?
So, at the risk of sounding like one of those flakes on a TV show, spouting off about The Secret, I'm going to...spout off about The Secret. Here's the thing. Living your life from a positive place does, in fact, feel better. And at least I can send positive thoughts to a family in pain and hope it offers some measure of comfort.
One tenet of The Secret's positive thought is visualizing happy images to make yourself feel more positive. My happy image is, of course, B. I visualize the way he looks when he sleeps, or when he giggles, or when he's snoozing on my shoulder - his blonde curls, his smile, his big, grey eyes. And it really is amazing how quickly thinking of him can improve my mood. I have a picture as my desktop background that can turn my mood around in a heartbeat. I'll show you:
Admit it. You feel slightly happier now, don't you?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)