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Friday, July 31, 2009
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Work in Progress
I think I may have used this title previously, but whatever, it's still true.
The return to work after my vacation a few weeks ago was a really tough one. Like...near constant panic attacks and several consecutive nights of insomnia rough. My breaking point came last Friday, when I was working from home and thankfully, my mom was home to keep me from a complete break down. She finally agreed that my job probably makes me more miserable than it's really worth. It's just always reassuring to get that kind of affirmation from your mom, you know?
So, this Saturday, I'm going to take the first part of the MTEL. It's just the first part, so I'll have more tests to take, and I'll have a certification to get at some point. But what it comes down to is that teaching is the job I've been missing for the better part of 10 years now, and I am ready to head back to it.
I know this isn't the most thrilling entry I've ever written, but that's what's up around these parts.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Oh, hello...
It's been a while, huh? I haven't had much to say lately. I've been in kind of a weird head space. It's not really worth getting into now, because I'm coming out of it. But the fact that I'm on vacation this week is definitely a blessing.
I never thought I could love vacations more than I already did, but I do. No, I don't sleep in like I used to (B gets up at 5:30-ish every day), and no I don't spend as much time partying it up on vacations as I used to, but I cherish my vacations in a way I never thought to before. Having consecutive days to hang with B is about the greatest thing ever. E had to work a couple days this week, but tomorrow, he joins the vacation train, and I'm so excited!
Today, B and I went to visit some friends who live near the beach where my family spent summers when I was growing up. It's about my favorite place in the world, and it was the coolest thing to be there with B. One of my friends said she'd love to have a group of people rent a house down there, and just the thought of that delighted me. To be in that place with my family AND my friends?! Whoa. Bliss overload.
Anyway. That's more or less what's on my mind tonight. It's not sexy, but it's my mind.
I never thought I could love vacations more than I already did, but I do. No, I don't sleep in like I used to (B gets up at 5:30-ish every day), and no I don't spend as much time partying it up on vacations as I used to, but I cherish my vacations in a way I never thought to before. Having consecutive days to hang with B is about the greatest thing ever. E had to work a couple days this week, but tomorrow, he joins the vacation train, and I'm so excited!
Today, B and I went to visit some friends who live near the beach where my family spent summers when I was growing up. It's about my favorite place in the world, and it was the coolest thing to be there with B. One of my friends said she'd love to have a group of people rent a house down there, and just the thought of that delighted me. To be in that place with my family AND my friends?! Whoa. Bliss overload.
Anyway. That's more or less what's on my mind tonight. It's not sexy, but it's my mind.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Yea, I'm Braggin'. What of it?
I am a truly lucky woman. I am blessed in so many ways. I have B, whose charms I've written of extensively. And I also have B's daddy. E is everything I could ever have dreamed of in a husband and then some. He is, in so many ways, my perfect complement. He is supportive of me in all ways and all things. And that isn't always an easy feat. He is the person I can count on to talk me down when I'm spinning. He is the person I can count on any time of the day or night. And as a stress-induced insomniac, that's really key. He is sweet and kind an intelligent. He has more integrity than anyone else I know. In case I haven't said it often enough, thank you, E. You rock my world.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Fifteen Years
I actually wrote this post a couple weeks ago and never posted it. Oops!
At the risk of outing myself as old (as if any of you reading this don't know precisely how old I am), fifteen years ago this month, I graduated from high school. And the funny thing about living in my hometown right now is that it really highlights the fact that I may strike a passing resemblance to that girl who graduated FHS in June, 1994, but by and large, she's gone.
At the time I graduated high school, I was a chubby, shy, sheltered girl whose previous two and a half years had been defined by thyroid disease. I was terrified of college, as much as I was excited for it. I was terrified of boys even more. (Yes, yes. Have a good laugh. L afraid of boys?! PREPOSTEROUS. BWAHAHAHAAAA. I'm a married lady now, thankyouverymuch.) I was generally terrified of life.
I remember that time so vividly, though. I remember driving around, listening to music and dreaming of what my life was going to be like, now that I'd finally done my time. I remember the simultaneous thrill and fear at the prospect of heading off to Amherst, and a school full of thousands of strangers.
My college orientation was also 15 years ago this month. UMass staggers orientation throughout the summer, and ours was early in the season. Right from the get-go, I knew college was going to be a whole different world. I remember forcing myself to talk to people, because I figured we were pretty much all in the same boat, in terms of not knowing many people, and I figured it was better to make myself talk to people than to sit in a corner not talking to anyone. I was right.
It's fun to look back on those two events now, knowing how dramatically my life changed that summer. The transition from high school to college was, for me, a phenomenal one. Going to such a big school was precisely the right choice for me. I needed that experience and all that I learned about life there.
At the risk of outing myself as old (as if any of you reading this don't know precisely how old I am), fifteen years ago this month, I graduated from high school. And the funny thing about living in my hometown right now is that it really highlights the fact that I may strike a passing resemblance to that girl who graduated FHS in June, 1994, but by and large, she's gone.
At the time I graduated high school, I was a chubby, shy, sheltered girl whose previous two and a half years had been defined by thyroid disease. I was terrified of college, as much as I was excited for it. I was terrified of boys even more. (Yes, yes. Have a good laugh. L afraid of boys?! PREPOSTEROUS. BWAHAHAHAAAA. I'm a married lady now, thankyouverymuch.) I was generally terrified of life.
I remember that time so vividly, though. I remember driving around, listening to music and dreaming of what my life was going to be like, now that I'd finally done my time. I remember the simultaneous thrill and fear at the prospect of heading off to Amherst, and a school full of thousands of strangers.
My college orientation was also 15 years ago this month. UMass staggers orientation throughout the summer, and ours was early in the season. Right from the get-go, I knew college was going to be a whole different world. I remember forcing myself to talk to people, because I figured we were pretty much all in the same boat, in terms of not knowing many people, and I figured it was better to make myself talk to people than to sit in a corner not talking to anyone. I was right.
It's fun to look back on those two events now, knowing how dramatically my life changed that summer. The transition from high school to college was, for me, a phenomenal one. Going to such a big school was precisely the right choice for me. I needed that experience and all that I learned about life there.
Friday, June 12, 2009
Rough & TUMBLE
B did a face plant yesterday at daycare. Literally, he fell on his face on the hard top of the playground. He's got a brutal raspberry all the way down his nose, plus an egg on his forehead, and he had a bloody nose when it happened, too. But my little ruffian is really pretty unfazed by the whole thing. Occasionally, he'll hit the skin of his nose with his hand or something and remember it's sore and look at me kind of like, "Oh, ow." But on the whole, he clearly doesn't mind the falling down.
And of course, I know this is just the first (and probably mildest) of many, many injuries he's likely to endure. By B's age, my youngest brother had already had stitches once. And Be reminds me of him, as a toddler - same sturdy build, same blonde hair, same contagious smile, and same need for speed. It didn't really freak me out the way I thought it would, seeing his little face all scraped up. Maybe it's because I have three brothers and spent two years teaching a bunch of hellion boys, so I guess I kind of knew what I was getting into. But really, so far, it's more a feeling of awe that I have, that he's growing up so fast. (Talk to me after his next injury - I'm sure my facade of coolness and calm will have vanished.)
But seriously, little boys get cuts and scrapes. This is not to say that little girls don't - they certainly do. But looking back on myself and my four siblings, it does seem the boys got to a different level, with their cuts and scrapes. So, what this face plant indicates, I think, is that my baby has officially become a little boy.
And of course, I know this is just the first (and probably mildest) of many, many injuries he's likely to endure. By B's age, my youngest brother had already had stitches once. And Be reminds me of him, as a toddler - same sturdy build, same blonde hair, same contagious smile, and same need for speed. It didn't really freak me out the way I thought it would, seeing his little face all scraped up. Maybe it's because I have three brothers and spent two years teaching a bunch of hellion boys, so I guess I kind of knew what I was getting into. But really, so far, it's more a feeling of awe that I have, that he's growing up so fast. (Talk to me after his next injury - I'm sure my facade of coolness and calm will have vanished.)
But seriously, little boys get cuts and scrapes. This is not to say that little girls don't - they certainly do. But looking back on myself and my four siblings, it does seem the boys got to a different level, with their cuts and scrapes. So, what this face plant indicates, I think, is that my baby has officially become a little boy.
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