Apparently, today is Mental Health Day. This is an awareness day I am all the way on board with. I'm pretty open when it comes to my struggles with anxiety and depression, but I guess I don't generally talk about it unless asked. So, today, I'm going to talk about it.
One of the (many, many) super awesome and fun things about having a dysfunctional thyroid is that you are more prone to anxiety and depression. So, I've been dealing with various forms and levels of both since my teens. I've dealt with them in a variety of ways, from therapy to meds, to exercise and diet - sometimes all of the above - to varying degrees of success.
Some people have told me things like, "I started taking Vitamin D and my anxiety disappeared!" And I think that's amazing and it makes me happy in a very genuine way. HOWEVER. That shit doesn't cut it for me. I take Vitamin D. I still have awful anxiety.
I also have residual anxiety, and let's be honest, a bit of residual depression, from a few traumatic events in my past. The word "trigger" has become this weird, catch-all insult to people with Liberal politics and that's annoying to me, because in actual fact, there are things that can happen around me that actually do trigger my anxiety. It's a very real thing. If that makes me a snowflake then what the eff ever, because honestly, if you have to resort to making fun of another person's mental health to feel better about yourself then you're way worse off than I am, bruh.
I have also dealt with depression. I've had days when I couldn't get out of bed. If you've never experienced it, it's really difficult to understand. But when you're in it, the exhaustion you feel is extremely real. It feels like you're sick. You could sleep 12 hours and it wouldn't be enough.
And depression and anxiety are both filthy liars. And a really good ones. They tell you things like that you're worthless. That your friends aren't really your friends. That your family would be better off without you. That terrible things are in store. All kinds of things. I feel truly grateful that I'm at a point in life where I can generally stop for a moment and realize these things are not true. But that effort can be downright exhausting.
Be aware. Keep an eye on the people in your life. Pay real attention. Be an ear. Be a safe place to land. You never know who you might save.
Wednesday, October 10, 2018
Tuesday, October 2, 2018
Football
I've been on both sides of a lot of "mommy" issues. I nursed and gave formula at various points. I have been a working Mom and a SAHM. My kids eat a lot of organic food...and some crap. They have devices and screen limits. And on and on.
But actually, the parenting decision that I've often felt most judged for has been to allow my 10 year old son to play tackle football. He begged to play from the time he could talk. When he was in second grade, we relented and gave it a try. And he was hooked from the moment he hit that field.
Trust me, I'm aware of the studies. I know all about the rampant and often covered up concussion issues in the NFL. I'm a bit of a research junkie. None of this is lost on me.
So, when my son wanted so badly to play this sport, I learned what I could. I studied up on heads up tackling, and on what other safety measures are now taken to keep kids who play football safer than kids who played a generation ago. And what I learned is that the sport my son plays is almost unrecognizable versus the sport one of my brothers played thirty years ago.
I'm not saying any of this to convince anyone else to let their kids play football. It's just the truth of what I learned. Additionally, my middle brother has had several pretty bad concussions...and he wasn't the one who played football. His concussions came from soccer, skiing, and likely from falling off a bed. My niece has had two concussions suffered while horseback riding. My point is...there are a lot of activities that can lead to concussions. Football has gotten the most attention for it, rightly, and the advantage to that is that when we know better, we do better. And we are doing better.
And the benefits my guy has seen from this sport cannot be overlooked. Football has taught him fitness. It has taught him mental toughness. Strategy. Discipline. Teamwork. Leadership. It has given him a sense of self confidence that is nothing short of magical, given where he was when he started.
As anyone who reads this blog knows, B was diagnosed with ADHD in first grade. First grade was a struggle for him. He started football in second grade, and it was nothing short of life changing. Finally, he'd found something he excelled at. Something that made him feel like his brain worked the way it "should." (His words.)
Ashland schools do these awards called "Role Model" awards. B has never gotten one. (Candidly, I think this is kinda bullshit, because there was one incident in particular where he was VERY clearly a role model, but that is a story for a different day). This has taken a toll on his self esteem from time to time. But then last season, one week at practice, he had a really good practice, and his coach gave him a t-shirt for being a good leader. That meant more to him than I can really put into words. Too see your child blossom is a gift.
As he's gotten older and matured, he's gotten more serious about his football. He studies his play sheets without having to be asked. He watches film of old NFL games and highlights constantly. He wants to be early to practices and games. He knows more past and present NFL players, and their stats, than even his Dad does. And that's saying something.
This is his passion. It is his favorite thing. Yes, my job is to keep him safe. And I feel that the sport has progressed in that arena. But my job is also to help him fly. And football makes him feel like he can.
But actually, the parenting decision that I've often felt most judged for has been to allow my 10 year old son to play tackle football. He begged to play from the time he could talk. When he was in second grade, we relented and gave it a try. And he was hooked from the moment he hit that field.
Trust me, I'm aware of the studies. I know all about the rampant and often covered up concussion issues in the NFL. I'm a bit of a research junkie. None of this is lost on me.
So, when my son wanted so badly to play this sport, I learned what I could. I studied up on heads up tackling, and on what other safety measures are now taken to keep kids who play football safer than kids who played a generation ago. And what I learned is that the sport my son plays is almost unrecognizable versus the sport one of my brothers played thirty years ago.
I'm not saying any of this to convince anyone else to let their kids play football. It's just the truth of what I learned. Additionally, my middle brother has had several pretty bad concussions...and he wasn't the one who played football. His concussions came from soccer, skiing, and likely from falling off a bed. My niece has had two concussions suffered while horseback riding. My point is...there are a lot of activities that can lead to concussions. Football has gotten the most attention for it, rightly, and the advantage to that is that when we know better, we do better. And we are doing better.
And the benefits my guy has seen from this sport cannot be overlooked. Football has taught him fitness. It has taught him mental toughness. Strategy. Discipline. Teamwork. Leadership. It has given him a sense of self confidence that is nothing short of magical, given where he was when he started.
As anyone who reads this blog knows, B was diagnosed with ADHD in first grade. First grade was a struggle for him. He started football in second grade, and it was nothing short of life changing. Finally, he'd found something he excelled at. Something that made him feel like his brain worked the way it "should." (His words.)
Ashland schools do these awards called "Role Model" awards. B has never gotten one. (Candidly, I think this is kinda bullshit, because there was one incident in particular where he was VERY clearly a role model, but that is a story for a different day). This has taken a toll on his self esteem from time to time. But then last season, one week at practice, he had a really good practice, and his coach gave him a t-shirt for being a good leader. That meant more to him than I can really put into words. Too see your child blossom is a gift.
As he's gotten older and matured, he's gotten more serious about his football. He studies his play sheets without having to be asked. He watches film of old NFL games and highlights constantly. He wants to be early to practices and games. He knows more past and present NFL players, and their stats, than even his Dad does. And that's saying something.
This is his passion. It is his favorite thing. Yes, my job is to keep him safe. And I feel that the sport has progressed in that arena. But my job is also to help him fly. And football makes him feel like he can.
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