Eat, Pray, Love

People had really strong reactions to this book when it was all the rage a couple of years ago. People I know either loved it - a lot - or dismissed it as navel-gazing drivel. I can appreciate both points of view. Some of it is rather self-involved and self-indulgent. But I was among the people who really appreciated it. For two reasons. 1) My brother went through a similarly interminable divorce in New York, so that part was excruciatingly relatable, and 2) I could relate to Liz Gilbert's sense of being in something she didn't want. NOT my marriage, to be clear.

What I didn't want to be in was my so-called career. I'm smart. Always have been. It's kind of been one of my things. As such, everyone in my life had expectations of me. Among those, of course, was career success. And I had that expectation of myself, too. And then, after having some really terrible experiences in my work life, and after experiencing the magic that is my son, I realized...I didn't want to be there anymore. There being my entire professional life.

So, rather than setting off on a round the world journey of self discovery, I started my own search. I started this blog. I started thinking about ways I could leave my career. I started contemplating being a stay at home mother for a while. And so many people in my life thought I was completely nuts. But when it came down to it, only three opinions mattered - mine, my husband's, my son's. And we all came into agreement. So, I left my career.

It's been around nine months now. And it's not a piece of cake, by any stretch. My son sometimes drives me up a wall, especially during this interminable winter, when we are largely cooped up. I feel like a lazy, underachieving piece of crap sometimes. I miss having my own steady paycheck. I miss cocktails with colleagues. But in my heart of hearts, I know I made the right choice, and I can't imagine having made a different one.

It's not the choice for everyone. It's a very personal, very individual choice. And for me, it won't be forever. But for me, it was the right thing. I hope it was the right thing for my son, too, and I think it was.