Rough

It's been a long winter here in MA, to say the least. It seems pretty likely that we'll beat the record for snowiest winter, which is made all the more remarkable since all but around six inches of it has fallen since late January. There is currently several feet of standing snow in my yard.

So, the fact that this is taking a toll on me is certainly not unique. It's just exhausting. Everything is exhausting. For most of February, not only was there insane snow, but it was also just absolutely FRIGID. I feel like my family of four spent more time together, in our house, than we have since...maybe ever. It was A LOT of togetherness.

I tend toward S.A.D., or whatever you want to call it anyway. Winter is not my finest hour, emotionally. This is another thing B has in common with me. He gets more difficult to manage in the winter. The combination of limited outside/active time and the claustrophobic weather wears on him. And E? She just flat out hates winter. She said to me recently that she wants to move somewhere with "jungle trees" which is what she calls palm trees. Me too, little girl. ME. TOO.

In addition to this, I started full time at work in January. So, what would already have been an exercise in juggling has become even more so in light of the weather. It's just been a lot, all at once. Add to that my usual propensity for convincing myself that I'm not doing well enough at work, or that I'm going to screw up massively...I've been a barrel of laughs lately.

B's attentional issues, which I think I've mentioned in passing before, have come increasingly to the fore, now that he's getting older. They've really come to a head this winter. This comes with its own array of emotions, of course. And it also makes me miss my Dad even more than usual, because my Dad had an uncanny knack for  understanding B, and for drawing him out of his bleaker moods.

Anyway, all this bleakness by way of saying, I AM SO READY FOR SPRING. Yes, I'm sort of terrified for spring, since my job becomes even more hectic and stressful in spring...but spring is also when I get to go to the walks and see the awesome families, and it's going to be so worth the stress.

And spring will allow this ADHD (not officially diagnosed yet, but headed that way) guy of mine to get outside and expend the extra energy. To yell. To whoop. To do all the things that are such a relief for him. And it'll lessen his screen time in a more organic way than my constantly harranguing him to shut it down.

I hope this post didn't sound as negative as I think it probably did. Things around here are not bad. They're actually pretty great, all things considered. It's just that, sometimes, come late winter, I need to take to my blog and just VENT, in order to reset my positivity toward the better things on the horizon. Like sunshine. And the beach. Ooh, and rose. Ok. I feel better now. Hope you do, too.