My Lens

I've written here often about B's emotionality and empathy. He is a challenging guy, to be sure, but he is also one of the most genuinely kind people I know. He cares so deeply for those around him. He feels everything intensely, and his emotions are always close to the surface, and often visible on his face and in his eyes.

E1's grandfather passed away last week. We traveled to VT for the services. He had been varying types  and degrees of unwell for a very long time, so it was not a huge surprise to lose him, but he was a unique and unforgettable presence and is mourned greatly.

As I've also said here before, one of the hardest parts of grief, as a parent, is seeing your children grieve. When my Dad died, the most gutting part, and there were so many, was telling B, and then seeing him struggle with his grief subsequently. He still struggles with it.

And so, at the funeral, when B saw his aunt crying, his inner empath emerged. I watched on his face his concern and sadness for her. And I watched it dawn on him that she was grieving her grandfather, and that he knows all about grieving your grandfather. And I watched on his extraordinarily expressive face the combination of grief for Grampa V, his concern for his aunt, and his residual grief for his  Papa. And it gutted me all over again.

This boy's joy is my joy. His heartache is my heartache. I guess that's pretty typical as a Mom - that so much of my life is now filtered through him.