More Navel Gazing

I started this blog when I was on maternity leave after B was born. I had a lot of time on my hands, because as many of us know, infants are kind of nocturnal. So, I had lots of time to write. But as with everything, life gets more hectic and things move faster and it's harder to take time for the non-essential things we love. But it occurs to me that perhaps writing here is NOT non-essential after all. When I'm not writing regularly, I tend to be less happy. I tend to like myself less. And those aren't good things, for me or for anyone around me.

1999 was 20 years ago now. I was in my first job out of college. My favorite job I've ever had. And that spring, I took on a second job, my other favorite job I've ever had. In 1999, the world seemed limitless. I was just at the very beginning of my adult life. I had no idea where it would lead. As probably every 23 year old does, I had visions of extraordinary things in my future.

Sometimes, when we hit the age I'm at, I think we can feel a sense of let down, that perhaps some of the extraordinary things we envisioned for ourselves haven't come to be. I thought for sure I'd be a best selling author by now. But again, life.

But I was thinking about something the other day. My life IS extraordinary. I've had the same bestie since second grade, and she is my soul sister. Almost five years ago, I moved to a town that now feels as much like home as anywhere ever has. I have made (in addition to my big sister/best friend, whom I followed here, obviously) genuinely amazing friends, who make the hard times in life bearable and make the good times in life magical.

And maybe the extraordinary in my life is raising these special kids of mine. They are far from perfect, but they're pretty special. B, my sweet guy, melts my heart and challenges me in the exact opposite ways from what I anticipated before kids. E is nothing short of a hurricane of pixie dust.

So, maybe instead of focusing on the things I thought I'd do that I haven't (YET...I'm not dead for God's sake, just 43), it would serve me better to be more conscious of the extraordinary all around me.