A Year

 I've had conversations with several friends in the past couple days, sharing that for all of us, our baseline anxiety is extremely high this week. I have to imagine that it's at least somewhat related to the fact that this week a year ago was the week that....everything stopped. It was our last few days of relative normalcy before we were locked down. And that 14 day lockdown turned out to be a year (so far) of at least some sort of variation on lockdown. And I think the fact that we're hitting a year really drives home the feeling of "This is never going to end."

Of course, rationally, I realize it will, to some extent, end. I've had my first dose of vaccine. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. It's still fairly dim and far away, but it's there. 

And then, there is the ROARING return of things I was anxious about before everything stopped. Life is beginning to pick back up, and a year later, all those things...are still there, waiting for me. 

I quit therapy over the quarantine year. I did Zoom sessions for several months of it, but at some point, it just started to feel like it wasn't really doing much for me. No shade to my therapist. It just felt a little bit...futile. 

What really helps me most? Is time with my friends. Time to chat, to vent, and most importantly, to laugh. And that hasn't been able to happen nearly enough in the past year. That's the therapy I need most.