So, yea. Last Tuesday was a rough day. I can't really go into the details, because it's not my story to tell, but suffice to say that people I love are in pain, and there is nothing I can do about it, and it's such an infuriatingly futile feeling to have. Maybe that's a terribly egocentric way to look at it, but it's how I feel.
So many people I love are in kind of a down cycle right now. I mean, not entirely - there are amazing and wonderful things happnening around us every day - there are babies being born and tiny ones growing stronger, and there are love stories happening and friendships flourishing, and all manner of good things. But on a very elemental level, there are a lot of people in my life going through some difficult stuff, whether it's personal, professional, financial, or some combination of the three. And it makes me wonder why it is that this is all happening at once. There must be some greater meaning to it, mustn't there? I don't believe God is totally random in tossing gauntlets. I'm sure there are those who would argue that that's just my naive way of comforting myself, but nevertheless, it's what I believe. I believe there is greater meaning out there. But sometimes, it's really hard to find, as it is now.
There are so many cliches about stuff like this: It's always darkest before the dawn; whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger; God works in mysterious ways...I hope all of these are true. I really do. I'm all for learning, but I mean, at some point, the effing lesson's gotta END, right?
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