Mother's Day

I am so grateful to be a mom. While I think it's so nice that there is a day set aside each year to show our appreciation for our mothers, for me, it's also an opportunity to appreciate how lucky I am to be a mother. I've written repeatedly here about how my son was unexpected. If I'd been able to plan it, who knows if I'd be a mother yet. But that's why the unexpected things in life are often the best things. My greatest blessing was a complete surprise. And I'm so grateful for him. Even today, when he had a super grumpy morning and gave me a really hard time about everything I tried to get done, I'm so grateful for him. He has given me a sense of purpose in life that I cherish. He has given me a kind of love I never knew I could feel. He has made me comfortable with myself in a way I've never been before.

This morning, we were running early for school, so we took a few minutes to read some stories, and while he sat on my lap, turning pages and pointing to "CAH" (cars) and "DAH" (dogs) and "BA-BALLS" (basketballs and baseballs), I took a moment to just soak in the pleasure of sitting with him, looking at books. Such a simple moment, but that's all it took to turn my mood around.

This afternoon, he had a check up at the doctor. The doctor has determined that he should go in for an ultra-sound, because he felt something in his belly that could potentially be an enlarged spleen. He doesn't think that's what it is (he thinks it's probably nothing) but feels like we should rule it out. I am absolutely positive that B is fine. I'm pretty sure I'd know if something were up. But shit like this is still so terrifying, because if it were something, I hope I'd be able to handle myself like an adult. I'm not entirely sure I would. I hope I won't have to find out.

It's a roller coaster. I've never been much of a fan of roller coasters in general, but this ride is one I'm all in for.