I've been really blocked (writing-wise) for a long while. I think that the only way to combat that is to make more of a concerted effort to write regularly. I once heard writing described thusly: "It's like a muscle. You have to exercise it or it atrophies." I find that to be true. We'll see how it goes, though, since we all know I've said this before.
I recently quit my job. It wasn't anything so dramatically miserable as the last time I left a long-term job. It was just time. It had gotten to the point that I felt like I'd completely lost myself to my commitments. Between work and parenthood, I was just on autopilot. When I looked in the mirror, I didn't know who I was looking at. I needed to find me again. And leaving the job felt like an important step.
I've started working out regularly, for the first time since moving back to MA. When I say that I didn't recognize myself in the mirror, I mean that literally, to some extent. I'd struggled to find any sort of work out routine when working full time, and it showed, both in my appearance and in my mental state. Luckily, I have a friend who is helping me stay accountable and get my butt to the gym on the regular.
There is still work to be done. I'm falling prey to a lot of the being overly hard on myself that I've struggled with most of my life. But that's another reason that writing here is so important. It's one of the most therapeutic things I can do, and it helps me not to beat myself up as much. I'm not sure that even makes much sense, but it's true. I process through writing, and it keeps my anxiety and negative self talk from getting the best of me.
2017 is my year for self care. I've been lost in day to day for too long. This year, I get myself back. The physical muscles, the writing muscles, they're all coming back in 2017.
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