Tests

I remember hearing or reading somewhere once that when you wish really hard for something, sometimes God (or the universe, or the divine, or whatever) tests you before giving it to you. If you say, "I would do anything for [fill in the blank]," then God goes, "Yea? So, prove it." I remember hearing about this with respect to true love. Like, you say, "I would do anything to find my soulmate," and God says, "Ok....then do this&this&this&this&this and then we'll talk." And the theory is that that is why your life sometimes gets extremely crazy right before the right person comes into it. And I know mine certainly did. The summer before my husband and I got together for good was, let's just say, not easy. Looking back, most of the craziness was just my tying up loose ends with various on and off romantic partners, so that when the time came, I wouldn't have any lingering questions. And I didn't, so the turmoil I went through with those boys who were not meant for me was well worth it.

But it doesn't just apply romantically, at least not for me. Any time I've been on the brink of getting something I really want, I go through a period of upheaval. I can think of several examples. It's always been a sort of darkest before the dawn type of thing. And I think it's what's going on right now. Not that things are so dark right now. On the contrary, my life is an embarrassment of riches, in terms of the blessings I've been granted. But there is a sort of upheaval going on, a lot of it internal, and I think it's because I'm going through the test period before something wonderful comes my way. That's what gets me through times like this...remembering that the best times in my life have always been preceded by some upheaval. So, I'm going to keep knocking down whatever bowling pins God throws up in front of me until I get to where I want to be. Just like I always have.