Perspective

I've written a couple different times in this space about how I'm trying to be a more positive person. I mean, I think I've always been a reasonably positive person - a worrier, yes, but generally a pretty upbeat person. But because I AM admittedly a worrier, I do have to devote some focus to staying "in the moment" as my Mom would say. I have to remind myself sometimes to enjoy the moment I'm in and to take the positivity from it that I can, and not worry about what's coming next or how things will turn out.

I do also tend to stress out pretty easily. Ironically, my reputation among my colleagues is that I handle stress well and don't get worked up. They have no idea what a toll stress takes on me internally. Just because I'm not flipping out in hte middle of the work day doesn't mean my insides aren't in turmoil. I'm sure my husband, who sees the aftermath, could enlighten them to the myriad ways my stress can manifest itself.

Lately, because I've had a stressful couple of weeks, and because work has been less than ideal, and because we have such a brutal commute, and because having a baby is crazy expensive and we're both underpaid (it's all relative, I know, and we do just fine - we're both just underpaid for our specific roles), I've been really stressed out. And I can tend to have episodes of self pity when I'm stressed out. I've had a couple of Woe Is Me moments this week. But when I really take stock of all the wonderful, wonderful people and things in my life, I feel downright embarrassed about having even moments of self pity. I am so blessed in so many ways, and I know that. So, although I lose sight of that during my stressy moments, I never truly lose sight of it.