Where's the Fire?

When I was a kid, my aunt and uncle rented a beach house every July at Humarock, MA. It was a big, old Victorian house that had been very well cared for by a family who never rented it, except to my aunt and uncle. My grandparents, their three children, and their children's respective broods, would all crowd into this big, old house for the 4th. Actually though, at Humarock, the "event" was the 3rd. The night before the 4th, that beach was a chaotic mess of illegal fireworks, bonfires and beer. Even before I could or wanted to enjoy the beer, the fireworks and bonfires were quite a spectacle. It was such a blast of a gathering because the Pennsylvania cousins would come, which was a relatively rare pleasure. And we would all get together on the porch and the sea wall and watch the spectacle. Except my grandfather, Bucky. Bucky would be in the house because he hated bugs and he hated fireworks and he wasn't a big fan of crowds. Especially as he got older, that night wasn't exactly appealing to him. What WAS appealing to him was watching out the window as the people he loved most in the world enjoyed this crazy night he could barely stand. It's funny. I've definitely inherited Bucky's nervousness about fire. Not that big a fan, I have to say. Yet, I'd give almost anything to be able to share those nights of fireworks and bonfires with my boys.

The last 4th of July gathering we had that Bucky was alive for was 1998. Ten years ago. So, ten years ago tonight, Bucky was sitting, thoroughly annoyed, in the living room of our Humarock house, watching us all act silly on the beach. That weekend was the last we had together as a family before Bucky died. It was also a week before I moved to Atlanta. When I look back on that weekend now, it's almost surreal to think how unaware I was of how completely everything I knew about my life was about to change. Some of the changes were for the better, and obviously, some were for the worse. But it'd sure be nice to go back to Humarock and chill with Buck on the porch with a martini, even just for a day.