A Year Ago

A year ago, I didn't even know I was pregnant yet. A year ago, the egg hadn't even implanted yet. A year ago, I knew I wanted kids someday, but I wasn't sure when, exactly, someday was. And now, I have a beautiful four month old son with strawberry blonde hair, grey-blue eyes, magnificent cheeks, and a smile that lights up a room and my life. He has a smile that literally chokes me up just to look at. And I think sometimes, what if I HADN'T forgotten to pick up my pill prescription that month? What if we HAD been "careful" that night? What if I had missed out on this miracle? I suppose I wouldn't even know the difference. Still though, I thank God every day for my forgetfulness. I thank God for this surprise, every time I see that smile. I thank God, even during sleepless nights, that this child was determined enough to join us, despite it not being in my plans. Because sometimes, you can't anticipate the best parts of your life; you just have to trust and allow the wonderful things to come to you. Sometimes, you're just not in control, and sometimes, that's the best part.