Fighting It

On Friday, the guy who sat diagonally behind me got laid off. He was a guy who drove me up the wall. In fact, so afraid was I that my old position was going to start reporting to him (which it did), that I changed jobs, taking my current position. But once I no longer had to work with him quite so directly, he kind of started to grow on me, and so I was bummed for him on Friday. I don't know exactly why, but somehow in my head, it became a "him or me" thing, in terms of who would get cut. I just had a feeling one or the other of us would - I guess because, of my boss' direct reports, we seemed the two most likely to be on the chopping block, based on our job functions. I had kind of come to a place of peace with being laid off by the end of last week, so of course, I didn't get laid off. That Murphy is a trickster, indeed.

This weekend, we were up in Nashua with my in-laws, working on the condo. And it's so funny - that place has such a weird effect on my psyche. I felt SO positive about life in general last week, and then I got up there on Friday and my positivity took a nose dive almost immediately. I had to fight tooth and nail all weekend not to succumb to the darkness that so often swallows me up in that house. It's just the strangest thing, because as any of you who've been there know, it's a perfectly pleasant place. So, I think whatever my issue is with it, it's just some kind of internal/psychological thing. But I am really looking forward to our finding a home that the three of us can all feel happy about, together - that we can make our own together. Not that we didn't do that with the condo, but I don't think I ever allowed myself to feel real affection for it, for whatever reason. Totally unfair of me, admittedly, but it is what it is, and I'm looking forward to finding our family home.